When I boarded the tantric sex wagon seven years ago, I realised that every time a client showed genuine willingness to deeply synchronise his sexual energy with mine, I would experience a trance state. I must confess, over the course of those seven years, I sometimes was in a relationship. I have always been very clear about my standards and practised a mantra of my own: ‘It’s my way, or the fucking highway…’, so my ex-partners always had no choice but to accept my form of living if they wanted to be entitled to a share of my existence. However, what they weren’t aware of is that, at times, I found it hard to grapple with the idea that I often experienced better sex with my clients than with my ex-partners. It was disheartening, nevertheless, looking in retrospect, that chapter lends to writing a post—even a book—solely devoted to the subject: Can you experience the best sex of your life without love?
I am running a campaign to make men fear running out of sex and, more importantly, dying without having experienced breathtaking sex. I want them to acknowledge what they already know: no sex, and crap sex, sucks. But it is much deeper than that. It is a black hole that sips your sap and leaves you colourless, ‘shineless’, withered away by the horror of a sexless life. Yes, you should dread the idea of the train of sex going on strike, depriving you of travelling to new wonderful places and expanding yourself. Food and water nourish your body; sleep feeds your brain; sex is the chlorophyll of your soul, without it, you are a living corpse that works 9 to 5. Furthermore, it is the vital energy that connects you to the world!
In lovemaking, it is often the man who leads the dance, as in salsa. However, in Tantra, it is the woman who controls the rhythm. She is generally the initiator, as I will probably be at the beginning of our intimate encounters. As a woman, this is immensely empowering. What’s even more, leading managers, directors, CEOs, men of power at large in bed gives me utter satisfaction. I am in a powerful position and this is non-negotiable—remember my mantra? But, please, do not confuse me with a dominatrix.
Beyond the physiological differences between men and women, if we are referring to heterosexual partners, the consciousness of what goes on within oneself and the communion with ecstasy, provided we reach this level of pleasure, eradicate any ideas about masculine or feminine constructs. We ultimately reach a state of fusion and lose track of who is penetrating whom.
The practice of Tantra will teach you the furthest you can push your sexual ability. As a result, you will experience the most extreme form of sex, in a positive and healthy manner. Thus, in turn, you will revolutionise your life from a sexual, emotional and spiritual point of view. Your tantric path should first start on your own where you learn the fundamental techniques. You should experience how solo practice can lead you to full body orgasms even without a partner or a sexual context. As you learn how to channel your own sexual energy, you will become better equipped to sexually connect with a partner.
I am in the process of writing a tantric guide that you will be able to refer to on this website (Tantric Guide London). Everybody needs to rejoice in their sexuality and I will show you just how in an informative, accessible way. It doesn’t matter whether you practise on your own or with your partner. What is important is that you devote some time and dedication to Tantra. You will be impressed by how far you can get with solo practice. Ideally, it would be advisable for you to find a partner at some point who is willing to improve their sex life. You can also book a session of tantric massage and sex with me where you will be able to be guided and receive feedback. Please, note that I do not see couples because of my sexual orientation. I am heterosexual. However, my tantric guide will serve couples and all types of sexual identities.
I am on a mission to use my knowledge and experience about sexuality to generate healing, meaningful, enriching experiences as well as to fight against a perverse, sexually dysfunctional, judgmental, ignorant mentality. All misconceptions will be dealt with. You will be taught how Tantra can unite your sex with your spirit and erotic wanderlust. Exercises on breathing and energy orgasms will be included, as well as some teachings on erotic massage. Therefore, if you want to experience sex on a galactic level, my tantric guide will lead you in the way. Be tantric, be zen.
Nerea, an Independent Tantric Masseuse in London