In Western society, stress is the underlying factor for somatising various physical conditions. Massage therapy, including erotic massage, offers many possibilities to treat distress and its related health problems. There are a number of different reasons you may seek the services of a professional masseuse, in your particular case, to infuse your sex life.
Erotic massage offers all the benefits of regular massage, but unlike most forms of hands-on manipulation it is meant to be a deeply sensuous experience. By applying different massage techniques and giving them a provocative and arousing touch, erotic massage will help you connect with your sensuality and your sex partner physically and emotionally.
Erotic massage awakens sexual energy that will enhance your intimate rapports, prolong enjoyment, increase arousal, and deepen sexual satisfaction. It is a means to express lust, passion, fantasy, creativity, and sexual desire in a liberating manner.
However, in this world of relaxation and intimacy, the categories and terms used by many tantric agencies to refer to different massage styles overlap or are unclear. Below is a list of some types of erotic massage:
BODY TO BODY MASSAGE
The masseuse is completely naked and uses every part of her body to stimulate the receiver. The focus is on using body weight and although hands are used they are not the main point of pressure. This is a very sensual massage that if it is properly done will create an arousal effect. However, the masseuse needs to be experienced enough as this is a very physical style of massage that requires a good coordination of body movement and pressure.
This is a style of massage many straight men do not generally dare to explore. It is termed the male G-spot massage, and there is a good reason for it, certainly biological. The prostate takes part in the sexual response cycle and is vital for the production of semen. A prostate massage will start with the stimulation of the perianal and anal areas. It then proceeds with a therapeutic manoeuvre of the prostate gland from the anterior wall of the rectum or externally via the perineum. Prostatic massage should never be performed on anybody with acute prostatitis.
‘Nuru’ originates from Japan and it means ‘slippery/smooth’. The secret to this massage is the seaweed the oil used is made from. To be completely authentic it has to be performed on an inflatable mattress and the real seaweed oil. As with a body-on-body massage, the masseuse slides herself on the recipient’s body using effleurage techniques.
This is my specialty. Tantra, tantric sex, tantric massage, they are all terms that carry some kind of obscure, esoteric meaning many people do not seem to understand. Tantra is an Indian philosophy in itself, and as with all academic matters, a clear-cut definition of Tantra is still theorised. However, tantric massaging and tantric sex represent an angle of this philosophy and there are words and strategies to describe what it entails.
Tantric sex is a form of orgasmic meditation. It applies the principles of attention, mindfulness, breathing, rhythm and spiritual connection that yoga preaches. Whether you are interested or not in leading your sex life in a more spiritual way, tantric sex has a practical focus that will benefit you regardless of your personal beliefs.
Too often, the dreaded ‘passion drift’ sets into our sex life after a few years of responsibilities and periods of difficult challenges (my post 'The Creative Mind in Tantric Sex' discusses the key elements to deal with sexual boredom). Paying attention to your sex life should be your number one priority, yes, your number one! Why? Because by nourishing ourselves by a process of connection and biological gratification we fuel all the other areas in our lives. Our sex life is crucial in maintaining good mental and physical health, as are our degree of physical fitness, the quality of food we eat and the number of hours we sleep. It is a shame that saying: ‘I’m going to hit the gym on my lunch break’ sounds all right, whereas: ‘I’m going for a meditative orgasm’ would be very much frowned upon. Our physical and mental health are the foundation for our successful careers and relationships with colleagues, friends, relatives and partners.
To be clear, tantric sex focuses on an overall state of orgasm. Climaxing is only a few seconds of intense physical pleasure while the state of orgasm is the continuous, heightened state of consciousness and pleasure before the big release. My approach is not based on a hand-relief practice. I believe the non-ejaculation view is interesting between couples, but I am not an advocate of prioritising this technique. I relish every stroke, every touch, every kiss, every lick. I have developed the ability to derive pleasure from my tantric massaging as the flow of energy becomes a cycle, passing between my body and the recipient’s and building up a reciprocal exchange of pleasure. So the ecstasy is mutual!
To conclude, you should be suspicious of any tantric masseuse or agency who claims to offer yoni massages if their services only cater for men. ‘Lingam’ is the male sexual organ in Sanskrit, whereas ‘Yoni’ is the female organ.
On a different note, but equally important, I only use organic cold pressed coconut oil. I place a lot of importance on the products I use on my skin. As a matter of fact, I do not use creams as moisturisers because ingredients tend to be toxic chemicals. Coconut oil has a very slight smell and it can easily be washed off if you take a shower after our session, and it is perfectly edible, not to mention all the health benefits it contains.
Nerea, an Independent London Tantric Masseuse